hahahah shit idk if my doctor’s appointment is today and the only person who knows is unconscious go me

ithinkyoureawaffle:

So I was helping a customer on the phone at work today looking for some shorts to buy for his upcoming vacation. I helped him for about ten minutes, telling him about the different brands and styles of shorts that we carried. Finally, he says “I have a question for you, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable - you sound like you’re about 17 or 18.” I tell him that I’m actually 22, and he asks if he can ask me a personal question. I say yes, and he responds with “I’m going to be honest with you, I’m about 5’11”, almost 6” tall. Now, I want your professional opinion - I’ve got about a ten and half inch cock, will your shorts fit me?” Guess I can cross “customer telling me the length of his penis” off my bucket list.

livelymorgue:

April 8, 1933: For those who have visited London and wondered how they know their double-decker buses won’t fall over, this is apparently how they find out. Per police regulation, employees of the London General Omnibus Company put their 60-person bus to a “tilt test,” putting it on a 28-degree angle. Photo: The New York Times

lolsofunny:

why would you want to be an offensive stereotype for Halloween

when u can be

this

(Source: pinkhairedgoddess)

werengel:

assbutt-avenger:

slyther-lizard:

blood-type-ab:

leftforbed:

feathersassemble:

WELL

WELL

WELL

WELL

WELL

WELL

oH GOD NO I REGRET IT NOW

_{How To Fail At Being Human: A Guide by John Mitchell}

i think i fucked up my back somehow

this isn’t supposed to happen for another twenty years

tries to do natural eyeshadow

ends up with the darkest eyeshadow physically possible 

sherlockology:

The Hobbit: There And Back Again to now release December 17 2014

The third film in The Hobbit Trilogy starring Martin Freeman has had it’s release delayed 5 months from the originally planned original summer slot in 2014. The film will now be released on December 17 2014, occupying the same weekend slot as the other two films in the trilogy, and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy a decade ago.

Read the full press release on WETA’s website.