i had two really fucking weird dreams last night

• the first was legolas calling and releasing a world-wide orgy of birds that basically covered everything and then sandy from rotg appeared in the middle of it
• the second was zachary levi bringing me math homework i lost in november of last year

for the record that dream was about five times better than the one i had with the alternate reality based in space where everyone died because it was the space apocalypse 

and the one i had that same night where i was looking for treasure in an abandoned castle with some bros and i heard them all die over a radio because of poisonous spider bites 

no okay everyone shut up i’m going to tell you about my crazy ass hobbit/lotr dream

last night i had a dream there was this middle earth game show/dodgeball tournament or some shit and basically we’ve got maybe ten representatives from each race in a fucking gymnasium

naturally i’m with the dwarves idfk i think i was fili or kili or something

bUT ANYWAY THE CHALLENGE IS TO OPEN THE HIDDEN DOOR TO EREBOR which is just fucking sitting there in the middle of the gym like they cut the door out and there it is????

so naturally we, the dwarves, go wild all fuCK YEAH IT’S A DWARF DOOR WE GOT THIS YO and we try to decide which dwarf will represent us and try to open the door

it comes down to gimli and thorin don’t ask why they’re both there i’m just as confused

and i go “well, which one of you is better at opening doors” because i’m a logical dwarf apparently i’m probably fili and gimli goes “well last week i was beaten up by the elves because i couldn’t get through a door fast enough, so not me”

and we basically flip our shit fucking elves it was probably just legolas/gimli fun time that got out of hand but fuckIN ELVES 

so thorin’s elected anD WE’RE CHEERING WE’RE SINGING WITH OUR BASS NOTES HE STANDS UP

I SEE THRANDUIL ACROSS THE GYM, LOOKING AT US. HE’S BEEN ELECTED AS WELL. SHIT’S GONNA HAPPEN

FOR A SPLIT SECOND I THINK ”hey maybe we should’ve tried to get that hobbit fellow on our team he’d be good at opening doors” bUT IT’S TOO LATE THORIN AND THRANDUIL ADVANCE WITH SOME HOBBIT AND MAN OFF DOING IDFK

THORIN APPROACHES THE DOOR WE’RE STILL CHEERING WE GOT THIS I KNOW WE GOT THIS 

and i wake up

no okay so get this

i had a dream last night and it was really fucking weird so i’m gonna write it down before i forget

i was this blonde chick or something idfk for the first part? and me and dean o’gorman and aidan turner and the main cast from the walking dead had to go down this weird tube thing in an abandoned house, possibly because i thinking about where i would change if i was a werewolf which iS ANOTHER DREAM ENTIRELY BUT NEVERMIND

so we’re in the place and we go through….i don’t know, it’s like vines or something. we jump into vines in the ground. like a wild waves thing. i don’t know.

AND WE GET TRANSPORTED TO THIS WEIRD ALTERNATE WORLD WHERE IT’S KIND OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BUT NOT and we hear someone trying to open the door so we’re all “fuCKIN HOLD THE DOOR SHUT” while the group is basically splitting into two groups which is bad and then theRE’S ANOTHER GROUP OF SURVIVORS AT THE DOOR

AND THEY WANT IN BUT FUCK YOU ASSHOLES, IT’S OUR ALTERNATE REALITY ABANDONED HOUSE but they got in :|

i think i killed some people as some point

and then got cut

and then i might have killed someone who recently died in the walking dead by throwing him down a flight of stairs

and tonight on “irrational dreams”, i dreamt i had the eyebrows i did in middle school

verging on a nightmare, right there

fuck meee

i’ve only been able to sleep for about three to five hours before i wake up, and every time i go back to sleep, it’s nightmare after nightmare

whaaaat is happening

so having slept for over twelve hours, with various “where the fuck am i” wakings-ups in between

i both dreamt that a couple of mutant blue centipede-cockroach hybrids climbed on my while i was asleep, killed them, and in an entirely separate dream, vacuumed my room to suck up extra mutant animals

oop another “nightmare” under the cut it goes because keeping track of when these happen is kind of helpful??

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so i just spilled coffee all over myself and i looked in the mirror and i look like hell bUT I HAD A ROTG DREAM LAST NIGHT

oh man it was so cool

i was in this weird forest thing and bunny was tiny so i teased him aND THE FUCKER BIT ME WHAT THE HELL

i just had a really fucking weird dream

i was working for mi6 under the radar with sherlock holmes (i jUST REALIZED I HAD A DREAM ABOUT BASICALLY BEING JOHN WATSON)

and i was really tight with the director and i was all “oh hey you should send me on a recon mission to london because i spend like half my time in england and still haven’t been” and she was all “i’ll see what i can do” and being all awesome

aND THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING LIKE “WELL, TIME TO TEST OUT MY NEW LEG” so she goes to this bathroom and while she’s in there i see something on the tv like ellen or something why is that on english tv and apparently taylor swift got a new voice but i digress

she comes out and i DON’T EVEN SEE A NEW LEG

she’s wearing this sexy black dress and i’m pretty sure i was gonna bang the director of mi6 :|