ariabacon:

Durin birds, mostly Brittany’s fault

fuckyeahwhatsinyourbag:

The Owls Design from Morn Creations

(Source: halfdigested-ashesofstevejobs)

giovannuzza:

don’t you hate it when you’re trying to find a fic you read

but you can’t remember the title or author

so you’re just like

“don’t fail me now google”

My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

(x)

johnnystorm:

• that moment when one of your friends starts reading/watching something you’re obsessed with
• and you turn into a total freak
• WHERE ARE YOU AT
• WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE
• DO YOU SHIP MY OTP
• DO YOU HATE CHARACTER X HE/SHE/IT IS A BITCH
• WHAT PART ARE YOU AT NOW
• DO YOU LOVE MY BABY
• TELL ME ALL YOUR THOUGHTS
• 

(Source: toosenbo)

So, definitely not gonna be able to make it to the college tomorrow

My high school’s closed for tomorrow and there’s no way in hell I can make a 30 minute drive each way with a foot of snow and all this black ice.

Another snow day…woo…